A melancholy day today, not as practical as it should have been. Spent too much time thinking. Not good. Can't handle too much thinking. Thinking breeds procrastination and not doing. Thinking gives me less confidence in my own words and ideas. Thinking of what others think of me is the bane of my life. Time to close the curtains.

Just heard that true man is not coming back for several months instead of next month. Boo. This makes me sad as he was my next thing to look forward to and diminishes my post holiday glee. I recently sent him a poem that expressed feelings, but got no reply. I feel I may have stumbled. Again. Will I never learn to be patient? I'm trying hard to resist the spiral of sadness and the urge to dig a deeper hole.